When to Let Go...

In my hand is a very precious creation, so fragile, so valuable that if I keep on holding, it would either stay or fall apart. But I loved this creature so much, so much that letting it go would be like letting go of my life as well. So much that sometimes I wished it would be there forever. So much that I tend to be selfish at times so as I could make it stay for as long as I like.

Don't we all wish something "so good" could be forever? Don't we all hope that happiness is there to stay?

There comes a time in our lives when we got a chance upon someone "so nice" and “almost perfect" and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person (sometimes without even realizing it). This feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives and eventually guzzles our thoughts and actions to the extent that we tagged it as one of those "too good to be true" thing.

One person said, never ever let your heart run your life, as much as you can, always be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Try to listen not merely on what your feelings is invoking on you as a person but more importantly listen to reason as well. Letting go of someone doesn't necessarily mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find their own happiness without expecting them to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free (in the real sense of it), but it is also setting yourself free from all animosity, revulsion, and resentment that was long kept in your heart. You have to let go because the bitterness often puts away the strengths and weakens the littlest hope, making our lives more miserable than ever. Worst, presenting yourself as the "most affected one" sets the nastiest impression of all time--whatta a loser!

The trick there is...always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed in love...right? Just regard it as another mismatch of heaven! Well, you can cry of course, or whine or shout (growl even) if you have to, but make sure that after those outbursts you have washed away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you (easy said than done I know!). We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today. You really don't have to forget someone you love (`cause i know it's very hard). What we need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for what we have become. I think it's better that we give off that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Hmmm..."Who could it be" is the next interesting question to ponder.

Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you(I hope). And when it does, pray hard that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime...

How can I tell her?

Ako n yata ang pinaka hopeless at pinaka stupidong tao s mundo (tsk!tsk!tsk!).

Waaaahhhh! Ba’t ba npkakomplikado ng sitwasyon ko ngayon?

May mahal ka nga,d mo nman alam kung hndi p pwede o hindi tlga pwede kc nga KAIBIGAN mo xa. May iba nmang ngmamahal sa’yo, pero d mo nman mgawang mhalin kc alam mong mas mhal mo ang kaibigan mo.

“CARRIE”, minahal din nman kta and hindi biro n ligawan ka for 1 ½ yrs dati. Khit n hnggang mutual understanding lng ang nging relationship ntin, I treasured every moment n mgkasama tayo. Ngayon, everything has changed, ngkaroon k ng maraming boyfriends and aq, e2 tuliro’t in luv p rin s kaibigan ko. I didn’t xpcted n may nraramdaman k p pla s kin hnggang ngayon. Sinabi ko n nga sa’yo lhat last year tungkol s "KANYA" d b? I’m jst hoping na we will bcum gud frnds.Akala ko naintindihan mo na q, pero ba’t ganon? You’re still hoping?

“DIANE”, we been gud frnds since college days. Malaki'ng ngbago s kin nung nksama kta, u inspired and touched my lyf as well as the others. Dahil nga masyado nang natural n maraming ngmamahal sa’yo, d man lang aq mksama s mga choices mo. Tinago q 2 4 a long tym pra mprotektahan kta dhil pag umamin aq, d k nman ppyag d b? Ngkaroon k ng boyfriend w/c broke my heart 2 yrs ago. I tried 2 move on and I saw “Carrie” as 1 of the way 2 move on. Pero d pla kaya ng konsensya q, d ko pla kayang manggamit dhil msyado akong aware s 22ong nrrmdaman ko. Ngayon, after 2 yrs, wla n kayo ng BF mo, bkit BROKEN HEARTED p rin aq coz of u?

E ANONG PROBLEMA DON?

Si “CARRIE”, single, mgnda, available at kulang n lng yata e ligawan ko xa ulit para mging officially “kami”. Kaya lng, there’s sumthin she needs know. I really have to tell her…… wlang ngbago s mga sinabi q. C “Diane” p rin ang mhal q. As I’v said, ayaw ktang msaktan at umasa p that’s why I don’t know where, when and how will I start? I jst want 2 b honest w/ u. Ayoko lng dumating s point n ikaw nga ksama q pero iba nman ang hanap q. Even evrytym u hold my hand, I felt so guilty instead because I feel no “spark” anymore…wla n tlaga qng mramdaman.

Si “DIANE”, I’m still tryn 2 find a reason why I’m still here 4 u khit mnsan, doin things jst 4 u w/o asking 4 any as return is “exhausting”, and very tiring. Ngaun, I already realized, un pla tlga ung essence of “loving in spite of everything”. In spite of the fact that we’re jst friends, that I’m not the ideal guy for u, that no one can even imagine that there’l be any possibility n “mging tayo”. Alam kong msakit p rn para sa’yo ung break up nyo ng BF mo. I’m jst tryn 2 help u heal it and bring ur confdnce back. I knew u’r not yet ready 2 luv again kc u jst consider it as “sakit lng ng ulo(or puso, maybe)”. So eto aq ngaun, tryn 2 show u that I’m happy to jst make u realize “hindi p katapusan ng mundo” and tryn to be a “real friend” jst to make u feel that “u’r not alone”.

Kailangan q lng itago ‘to…

kailangan q lng kimkimin ‘to…

‘tong nararamdaman ko…

wag lng madagdagan ya’ng “kamoteng” sakit ng ulo mo:-(

Stupidong Torpedo ;-(

“Diane” , Kung mababasa mo lng sana…
Hindi…ibig kong sabihin e, ‘wag mo n sanang mbasa…
Waaahhh!!! Ano ba tlga?
Pcnxa na, wla lng paglagyan, wla lng pagbalingan.
Pano’ mo nga nman malalaman,
kung d ko man lng maumpisahan?
I admit it, isa akong malaking TORPE!
Pinatagal ko nga ng mhgit 2 taon db?
Hanggang s tuluyang maunahan na.

Ngayong wla n xa,
Handa n kong pumorma
Nsabi’t naamin ko nga db?
Ba’t mukhang wla p ring kwenta ?

Alam qng nsktan k s break up nyong dalawa.
Sorry for expcting n pwdeng tayo na,
Pero qng “PWEDE LANG SANA….
ay "SANA AY PWEDE NA”.

Maraming ngkakagusto sayo,
at sabi mo s kin, sila’y sakit ng ulo.
Teka? May gusto nga pla ako sa’yo!
Dadagdag p ba ko?

Naiintindihan nman kita.
Mnsan, kelangan mo mag-isa.
Kaya nga iniiwasan na
Sabihin, totoong nadarama…

E pano nman ako?
Gusto n yatang sumabog ng PUSO ko?
Ano p bang mgagawa ko?
Mababaliw n lng yata ko d2?

*****************************************************************************

"TORPE SONG"
M.Y.M.P.

Kundi ngayon kailan pa?
Bukas o makalawa
Baka makawala pa
Naiparating mo na ba?
Naihayag mo na ba?
Nakapagtapat ka na ba, ano ba?

Di niya malalaman
Di mahuhulaan damdamin mo
Kung ‘di sasabihin
Kaya nga’t sabihin mo na

May patula-tula pa
Di naman niya nabasa
Baka pa matulala ka
Pag may ibang pumorma
Mauunahan ka pa
Baka magmukha kang tanga, diba?

Di niya malalaman,
(di ko malalaman)
Di mahuhulaan damdamin mo
Kung ‘di sasabihin,
(sabihin mo na)
Kaya nga’t sabihin mo na

Sige na, lakad na,
sugod na
Baka mawala pa
Kayang kaya mo yan
Sige na, lakad na,
sugod na
Kapal mukha na
Kayang kaya mo yan…
Kayang kaya mo yan…

After 2 long years, Finally, nasabi ko rin...

After mtgal n pnanahimik , nsabi ko rin s knya. 2 YEARS ko din itinago 'to. It's 'bout "Diane" . Bgla xa ngtxt s kin last week, nngangamusta. I duno wat kind of approach ang ggwin q, sinungitan q n nga e.Buti n lng naubos load q kc bka nsungitan ko tlga xa.Then, dis week, I tried 2 reach her.d xa nkpgreply so tnwagan q n.D ko natiis n i-treat wat I treat her b4, bniro-biro q xa, as usual. Na-touch daw xa dhil tnwagan q p xa. Last nyt, tnxt q ulit xa, she opened up, tnanong nya qng musta n luvlyf q. I said, ZERO p rin and xa, wla n raw cla ng BF nya.

Pwede!!!

Msyado xang ngtanong so d q n npigilan sarili ko :

Me:Mustasa?

Diane: kei nman,msta b luvlyf ntin dyan,hv u finaly found d 1?

Me: Aray!

Diane:Aq, Zero e.

Me: So wala n kayo?

Diane:wla n. ung 1 yr & 9 months nmin, ng-end up lng s wla.

Me: e d umiyak k n nman?

Diane:2 b honest, hindi, sayang luha q s knya.

Me:E bat seryoso ata aura mo ngayon? hv u recverd yet?

Diane:Oo, nman, aq p.

Me:So gs2 mong icom4t kta?

Diane:as if nmn ggwin mo. e bka asarin mo p aq e.E ba't nga pla kw wla p rin?phikan k cguro no? swerte mggng GF mo sau.lhat kc nsau n.

Me:Magaling k p rin mng-uto:-l

Diane: No,its true.frend mo q d b? Hndi kta inuuto promiz,cnsb q lng ung 22o,pno k mggng msaya qng d k gmgwa ng way pra mhanap xa db? helooooo!ang lgay b e,girl p mnliligaw sau

Me:Un n nga e, d q xa pwdng ligawan!

Diane:n y?4 wat rison?

Me:Ang labo tlga akala q,everythin wil b fine after I resisted not 2 c or talk 2 her for months jst 2 let her b happy w/ her BF. Akala q, Iv already recoverd from the pain pero hina-haunt p rin aq ng traumatic past q. Kung pwde q lng xang awayin, gnawa q n pero d q xa ganun kdali saktan.

Diane:gno b k-im4tant yang girl n yan s mundo at bkit d xa pwedeng ligawan ng frend q?gs2 mo awayin ntin?

Me:D q xa pwdng ligawan dhil s npkwalang kwentang “Rules of friendship”

Diane: bkit nman? Oi, wg k ngang mgself pity, Okey, I'm hir.

Me:Mamamatay n nga aq d2 kakatry of evrythin jst 2 improve myself pero I hvnt change.Bkit p aq mgpapakita?

Diane:lam mo,u dnt hv 2 prov anything. jst b urself.

Me: Wow! Para kng c Joe ‘D mango huh?As if nmn u understand?

Diane:ano nman akala mo s kin? TANGA? o nga pla, ur smarter dan me.

Me:Bat gnyan k?

Diane:Kw kya. u dont trust me.kya nman ktng 2lungan ah.

Me:It’s not dat I don’t trust u . it’s not also bcoz iniicp q n d mo kyang umintindi?tanungin nga kta ulit?naiintindihan mo b tlga problema q?Do u think der’s a solution?F u’l say “YES” ,den I’l trust u.Ano? kaya mo b aqng 2lungan?Naiintindihan mo b tlga aq?

Diane:yes, I understand u.

Me:Oke.pero qng naiintindihan mo nga q, BAKIT HINDI PWEDENG MAGING “TAYO”

Diane:wat?wat do u mean?

Me:O, bat bgla kng natameme?Akala q b, u understand me. Binigay q lng nman ung sitwasyon q & u agreed na u understand. D b we’r in d same situation? We’r frends dat’s y d pwdng mging “tayo”. Ba’t d k agad mkpgbgay ng advise? Speechless? Duno wat 2 say?

Diane:bkit d mo agad cnbi s kin?kelan p nging hndrance ang frendship?

Me:D aq npagod mgmhal. Pero pgod n q mgpretend, n masaya aq khit hindi.n im happy 4 d 1 hus very spcl 2 me even it really hurts 2 know n msaya xa s iba. N ok lng s kin n d q xa mkita but deep inside, how I wish I cud c or talk 2 her d same way b4.Ngayon, ano advise mo?

Diane:d q alam ssbhin ko e, since wen?.....

After dat, bgla xang 2mawag. I answered her call, d aq mkpagsalita. 2matawa p xa.Flattered daw xa kc xa ung npili ko. Cnb nya rin n mtagal n xang ngdududa s treatment q s knya. Then,bglang nputol ang linya. (wla n cgurong load).D n xa ngtxt.

Ewan q mamaya . I duno what will happen next. Maybe I should go for the feeling na matagal ko nang kinimkim, but I knew, hindi ganun kadali, I want to help heal her broken HEART.

but How... How... How... How?

"TRUE"

Ryan Cabrera

I wont talk

I wont breathe

I wont move till you finally see

That you belong with me

You might think

I dont look

But deep inside

In the corner of my mind

Im attached to you

Im weak

Its true

Cuz im afraid to know the answer

Do you want me too?

Cuz my heart keeps falling faster

I've waited all my life

To cross this line

To the only thing thats true

So I will not hide

Its time to try

Anything to be with you

All my life I've waited

This is true

You dont know what you do

Everytime you walk into the room

Im afraid to move

Im weakIts true

Im just scared to know the ending

Do you see me too?

Do you even know u met me?

I've waited all my life to cross this line

To the only thing thats true

So I will not hide

Its time to try anything to be with you

All my life I've waited
This is true

I know when I go

ill be on my way to you

The way thats true

I've waited all my life to cross this line

To the only thing thats true

So I will not hide

Its time to try anything to be with you

All my life I've waited
This is true

I Feel So Isolated...

Some says, "masarap mging SINGLE" .Nsabi ko nga rin minsan un e. Ung pakiramdam n, malaya k, wlang pipigil s nararamdaman mo, wlang mamimili para sau. Pero ewan ko, ngaun kc, being single(since birth) makes me feel so isolated from normal people. Everytime n nakakakita aqo ng couple, sweethearts, partners, d mapigilan ng sarili n mging emotional . Those sad memories still goes back. I'm runnin away and hiding from it but it still follows me as if it was like my own SHADOW.
Pakiramdam ko, d ako normal. "May pakiramdam pro wlang mapaglaanan." I sometimes hope n bumalik n lng ung present time into past so i can spend my earlier time pra s mga ganung bgay. Bigla ko 2loy ngustuhan ung mga songs n nkhiligan ko nung mga high school to elementary times, Ha!Ha!Ha! Nakakatuwa kc it sometimes make me feel com4table and calm. I also try to go out, mangulet, magbasa...
Haaayyy.. Ano p nga b? Daming options but still can't find the ryt and exact answer. I still don't know how to OVERCOME this kinda thing.

Half Empty, Half Full

Hay!!!! Tapos n ang 3-day long weekend, back to normal n nman. After spending 2 days in a beach resort in San Antonio, Zambales with my friends, balik n nman aq s polluted n city, siksikang LRT, maingay n lansangan at nkakapressure n mghapong trabaho . Well, after my recent post my follow up p pla dito. Siyam (9) kaming magkakasama, c “Dianne” , ung sis nya, ung cuzin nyang "hal-filipino-half filipina", ung clsm8 nmin n kauuwi lng from Greece, ung clsm8 qng lalaki ksama ung barkada nmin n GF nya, and sympre ung driver w/ his wife. Kasama c “Dianne” so half-empty, half-full (pwede ring so empty, so fool) ung satisfaction ko. Nandyan nga sya pero may iba n xa . Ayoko xang makita pero imagine kung wla cya, wla ring kwenta, grrrrr… azarrrrr… gulo!!! Saturday night kmi umalis from Bulacan so we arrived exactly at 12:00 am of Sunday. Nipa hut ung tinuluyan nmin, hbang inaayos nmin ung mga gmit nmin, 2mawag ung BF ni “Dianne”. Aq nman, ewan q, prang gs2 qng mg-react (shit tlga, d nman dpat) kya dinaan q n lng s biro. Medyo ngttlo p cla nun so binanatan q ng “What am I Living For” by Eddie Peregrina on the background, hehehe! Lakas tlga ng tama . Kakatuwa... kakainis. D n aq n2log nun. I wanna enjoy the whole night staring at the stars, grabe ganda tlga dun! Ksama q malapit s seashore ung clsm8 qng lalaki. Dun lng aq ngkroon ng o42nity n i-open up ung about kay “Dianne”. Pero prang wala lng . D nka2long. Tlgang cge udyok p cya n 4mahan q n lng, d p nman ksal e. Nyek!!! I’m decided. I want 2 move on and I’m desperately searching 4 sum1 new. Pero bkt gnun, pra syang traumatic figure everytym n khrap q sya. The pain still remains at mas nrrmdaman q kpag nkikita q sya. Pra nya aqng pinkikitaan ng bagay that I never had and I will never have. Pra nya aqng iniingit, tinatakam, at the same time ng-aasar. Nagpapaasar nman aq . Syete tlga, tama na ! The 2nd day, swimming n kmi mghapon. Nandyan ung nnunukso cla pero todo deny p rin kc d q alam, bka iritado cya. At night, ng bonfire p kmi s tabi ng beach. Laro ng truth or consequence. Buti n lng d aq ntaya, bka mapilitan aqng mapaamin. D q lng alam mngyayari qng ngkataon. Ntaya nga c “Dianne”, ntwa tlga aq s pnggagawa nya. D p rin tlga ngbabago. Katuwa p rin, kakatwa p rin (hirap hanapin). After that, knausap aq nung GF ng clsm8 q. May issue kc tlga w/ their relationship kc it’s a May-December relationship. Medyo komplikado nga kya lng hindi na s amin "issue" un dhil ok nman cla tngnan. Kya lng ngkaron ng gap ung relationship nla. Prang ngsasawa n rw ung guy s kanya and madalas png nahuhuli s celphone. So I said, mkpg-break k n lng. Mahirap pero dpat nyang kayanin kaysa nman gnganyan k nya. If he comes back, syo sya, then if not, tlgang ganun, maybe hnd tlga “kayo”. She replied, “Mahirap mka-recover”. That was the time my tears silently fell down my face, shit tlga! kalalaking tao, nauna pang umiyak ! Naalala q n nman un SAKIT. Ngpaiwan sya mg-isa. So balik aq dun s bahay, 2log n ung iba. The rest nsa bed, while ”Dianne”,ng-iisa s bedsheet s sahig. D muna aq n2log. Gs2 ko kc, com4able ung 2log nya. D q kc alam ung anong nsa utak nya qng tatabi p aq. Hrap din, I’m now protecting her against myself. Hayun s labas aq n2log. D p rin kc nwawala ung respect ko s nging decision nya. I trust her, alam ko n msaya sya ngaun. D aq dpat makialam. Pero bkit playing guilty p rin aq? Cguro I must admit it, d p rin 2tally nwawala ung feelings q pra s knya. Babawi n lng cguro kpag I can play the role n pinangako q s kanya; “a real friend”. Then hnanap na ng clsm8 ko ung GF nya so tinuro q qng nsan pra nman they can talk those things out. Mya-maya, gngcing n aq ng clsm8 q, iniwan nya lng daw sandali ung GF nya bgla n lng dw nawala kya 12:19 am of Monday, madilim, umaambon p, dala q lng is celphone as light, nghahanap kmi s seashore. Inaalala q, bka ngpalunod n un s dagat . Un kaagad ung pumasok s icip q. Kc mahirap ung pnagdadaanan nya, and I may do the same thing. Naikot q n ung buong beach, pero wla aqng nkta. Pgbalik q, nandun cla s cottage, 2log ung GF nya kya d q na inusisa until the next day, d kc alam nung mga ksama s bahay ung ngyari. Hanggng ngaun nga d p rin sya nttnong e.

Di ko n alm kc qng ano ngyyari s kin e. Ayaw ko n s knya, kc gus2 ko p rin sya ( I mean ayoko n xang mkita kc I want 2 move on and seeing her does’nt help, prang nbabalewala ung pagbabalewla ko s knya. Akala q kya ko n mag-isa pero hnap q p rin sya. Ayaw q n syang mhalin pero d q maiwasan mag-show ng concern s knya khit alam kong wla aqng mpapala. Leche! Ano b?

She’s already taken… She’s already taken me.

Wla akong idea if a simple advice will help me kung may mkakabasa lng nito. Kamoteng buhay 'to, o. D ko lng tlga alam ggawin ko e . Let me introduce you this 2 girls in my lyf. D 1st one is “Carrie”,6 yrs n kming mgkakilala. I courted her for almost 1 ½ yrs.nging mg-MU lng kmi pero d nging officially “kami”. She’s pretty, mabait & close sya s family q. I stopped courting her 2 yrs ago co’z of my studies(gs2 q kc,she’s free 2 choose hbang npapabayaan q sya dhil s pag-aaral q). I really luvd her & hnd biro hntayin sya for a long tym.But I’d nvr expctd n mgpo-fall aq 4 othrs.Now here comes d 2nd girl. Her name is “Dianne”, classm8 q in college. Mganda xa pero mas ngustuhan ko ung kakulitan nya, saya ksma. She’s the type of girl n mdaling mahalin. Akala q, d lng sya nppansin nun, un pla my heart says “wag mong pansinin yan, masasaktan k lng”. Eh d ko naiwasaan e, sobrang friendly kc e. Hayun, d q n npansin n in-luv n q s knya w/o any warnings. Nging close kmi ng sobra. I used to tell her n gus2 ko, aq mag-iingat sau (kya lng may krugtong n: “gngawa q to dhil friend kta”. Kc mdalas ngkkgust0 s knya ung ibang clssm8 & friends nmin s knya w/c is ayaw nyang ngyayari(pero pag gwapo, nku kinikilig p, kurutin q atay nun e!). Ayoko nmang icpn nya n sasahog p q. 2nd thing is, how can I make her feel safe kung malalaman nyang ung savior nya e may “pagnanasa” pla s knya? Kya I just did anything 4 her w/o asking for any(saya ko no, kababawan? ). So bgo plang mg-graduation, we exchanged letter, and gnamit q un pra gwing official ung friendship nmin, I’v got that special thoughts 4 her with matching drawing n may msg n “Forever Friends”. Gnawa q un pra MABURA n s icp q n somehow bka pwdng mging kmi. Until wla p ytang 1 month after that, cguro May 2004 kc election nun, I called her thru d phone, sympre chika2x lng,friends tayo eh. Kya lng may nsabi sya skin nun e & I nvr xpctd n mngggling p s knya. May dinescribe syang person s kin, mabait daw, caring, gentleman p. On may part, bka ma-aray n nman ako s maririnig ko. So w/o any idea, cge tnong aq kung cno un. She said; “… ikaw un e.” . P*t*ng i*a!!! Sandali lng! d p aq ready! d aq ng-ayos ngaun, d p aq ngtu-toothbrush, d p aq ngmu-mumog! D p aq nag - Ooops! I 4got,we’r over d phone nga pla. On my mind, ntaranta tlga aq, pero as she talked to me, d nya nhalata un dhil ngpatay-malisya aq. E ano nmang gs2ng nyong sabihin q? “Tlga? Gs2 mo q?E aq rin e. I luv u.” Cno nmang mniniwla nun? E aq nga 2ng panay presintang her friend dat she cud always count on, she cud always trust? Bka lumabas p n masyado nman aqng o42nista. Ang nsbi q lng is “Ows, tlga?” I confirmd it also thru txt a day after dat call. Sb nya, “Oo, crush kta, kc ang bait mo skin & I feel vry special kpag ksma kta.”. Then, sb q, special din xa s kin. Pero d q nsb n special xa s kin kc I love her. Ntkot kc aq e.Bka icpin nya o42nista aq.Like I said,dmi kc ngkkgs2 s knya. By that tym, may nanliligaw n pla s knya. Well, GWAPO daw so evrytym n mgkksama kming mgbbrkada,un lgi png-uusapan. Smahan p ng sulsol ng mga pnsan nya. Pra ako n2ng bnbastos ng hrapan.”Parang” lng nman, kc d nman nla alam e(pero ung sakit,nkooopow!araguy!d ko yta kya! ) She also asked us (“us” ha, ksma ako) qng sasagutin n b nya(Aba’t nanadya p yata !pra aqng snampal s mukha ). Until dumating ung bday nya. That was the tym n decided n aq. Ssbihin q n s knya lhat...Na mhal q n sya mtgal n. Na inspired aq bcoz of her.Na it just took tym pra mlaman nya kc msyadong mrming ngmamahal s knya. Na I’m jst here waiting 4 that hope. But evrything seems 2 b UNFORTUNATE pra s kin. Na-meet q na ung guy. D ako mgttka, gwapo nga tlga(kainis,nkkabakla k!) So hayun tukso d2, tukso dun,hbng knkilig p sya.Aray n nman !Pero sympre b-day nya, dpat msya sya. I even join s panunukso. Nkuha q png mgbiro even it just contribute a li’l 2 her happiness. D q n naibigay ung gift q. D q n rin nsb ung mga dpat nyang mlaman.

After that, wala na, wala na, wala na, wala na, wala na….

Wala n qng plano. Wala n qng inicp. Prang wala ng kwenta ang BUHAY(nakhooomPootah! lalim) ya, that’s true.un ung mga nramdaman q that tym. Cge, since I don’t have the ryt 2 give u up, d n lng aq gglaw. I will make it easier 4 u 2 decide. D n lng aq sasahog(wow!ang kapal ng dating q.feeling q nman isa aqng npkalaking hindrance s kanila) basta, Bhla kayo s buhay nyo! Just promise me n mgging msaya k(kung hnd, ggwin qng punchin’ bag yang throat mo)

E2, after almost 2 yrs, zero p rin aq. “Sila” p rin yta hnggang ngaun. I think d n q pwdng bmlik p s knya. Kc it was like a legend n may ngyring somethn romantic s aming dlwa. Wla kc nkaalam. Sagwa nman if I will open it up ngaun lng.

C “Carrie”, d 1st girl I mentioned,d q mgwang balikan. Ayokong gwing panakip butas ung tao. She doesn’t deserve it. Mnhal q rin ung tao, of course. Pero wla p rin aqng especial n nrrmdman pra knya ngaun. Ng-hope aq n mggng good friends kmi. Kya lng may problema….

Weeks ago,ngkta kmi kc ngptulong syng mgpgwa ng project. After that, we got tym 2 talk. Ngng very cm4tble syang ikwen2 n ngkroon sya ng boyfriends & ok lng s kin un. So I xpected na it’s ok lng s knya f ikwen2 q rin ung about s akin. I told her about “Dianne” then bgla syang nwalan ng gana kumain(nsa Jolibee Balagtas, Bulacan kc kmi nun). Ngpadaplis p. Bumira b nman ng “naranasan mo n b ung, kumakain k,tpos may nreceive kang msamang balita, 4 exmple,nabalitaan mong ung BF mo may ksamng iba?”. Kelangan b tlgang “kumakain” ung gven situation? N-gets q agad. I askd her qng ndsappoint q sya. She agreed. Nku, konsensya q p,problemado p nman ung tao dat tym, sumali p aq. Ngaun, pg ngttxt sya, d q snsgot, wag lng syang umasa kya lng feeling q,ang sma-sama q. D p rin aq happy kc nhhirapan aqng kalimutan c “Dianne” kc mhrap mgpktang pag-iwas s knya(“friends” nga dpat d b?”).

Ngaun, e'to ako't broken hearted. Still tryn' to move on pero sobrang hirap. Taken na kc "Diane" e and she already taken my heart away.

The Day You Said Goodnight

by Hale

Take me as you are

Push me off the road

the sadness, I need this time

to be with you

I'm freezing in the sun

I'm burning in the rain

The silence I'm screaming,

Calling out your name

And i do reside in your heat

that puts up the fire with me and find

Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles

That's what i'll do

if we say goodbye

To be is all i gotta be

And all that i see

And all that i need this time

To me the life you gave me

The day you said goodnight.

The calmness in your face

That I see through the night

The warmth of your light

is pressing unto us

You didn't ask me why

I never would have known

oblivion is falling down

And i do reside in your light

Put out the fire with me and find

Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles

That's what i'll do if we say goodbye

To be is all i gotta be

And all that i see

And all that i need this time

To me the life you gave me

The day you said goodnight.

If you could only know me

like your prayers at night

Then everything between you and me

will be alright.

To be is all i gotta be

And all that i see

And all that i need this time

To me the life you gave me

The day you said goodnight.

She's already taken,

she's already taken

she's already taken me

she's already taken,

she's already taken me

The day you said goodnight